This is one of the few times I can relate to DJT. To the untrained eye (us non-MDs), test results often seem cold, binary, and unforgiving.
However, for those of us who ever needed medical assistance, WE understand how it really works.
First, you walk in and are greeted with an MRI – just as standard as a rectal thermometer at the vet, for the owner.
Second, after innocuous and cheap procedures like MRIs or tumor extractions, you aren’t really given this silly observations like, “positive” or “benign” or “clear.” Doctors, usually noted for their jovial and cavalier bedside manners, say things like, “this is the roundest colon-hole I have ever seen” or, in my case, “what a big, beautiful liver.” I mean, I took that last one to mean the bigger the better, so hello Fireball, let’s get it on, Donkey Kong. This will be the most giantest, and goldenesque liver ever, and a lot of people have said that about my liver, including my cousin who is a taxidermist, but also reads a lot of Facebook – which is basically a degree per day.
Trump has another point – his doctor said his biological age was 14 years younger that his actual age. This is astounding and factual. It makes sense when you think about it. Even though his heart is 79, it’s really not.
Now look, my heart may be 50 years old, but, but, but, biologically, many smart people have told me it’s 12 years old, which explains my proclivity to go and my proclivity for going to Epstein Island. I have to follow my heart. Which is 12. My brain is 30, my kidneys are 47, and my index fingers are 108 and 7, respectively.